Tiger blames “Global Warming”
April 13, 2008
Tiger is depressed about global warming. Sources close to Tiger say “that depression about global warming is distracting Tiger”. The $22 million dollars he spent on carbon credits to off-set his favourite pastime, cruising in his 155 ft yacht, has Tiger disillusioned and distraught.
Tiger is blaming all of his recent misfortune on global warming. Like not winning The Masters Tournament. No kidding. Think about it, all those rechargeable batteries in digital cameras that are used to take his picture. Has anyone measured the impact of those cameras and batteries? Tiger has. Trust me, it’s huge. And the energy used to write ridiculous stories about him. Wasteful. I would be depressed too.
Mark Sharpe
sharpe.golf[at]gmail.com
April 14, 2008 at 12:30 am
This unfortunate photograph of Tiger has little to do with global warming: it’s perfectly clear, based upon his body language, that he’s suffering from nothing less than a miserable attack of hemorrhoids, –– a fate even worse than not winning The Masters. While I’m sure he’s not in a hurry to trade his Nike cap for one bearing the notorious “Preparation H” logo, he is in dire need of some therapeutic potion. Who knows, with a little help this past week, he may have been able to come from behind and take home all the marbles.
April 14, 2008 at 5:13 am
Yep, I never cease to be amazed at what people choose to worry about.
I guess I am doing O.K. as long as I can be surprised at human folly.
Cheers,
April 14, 2008 at 10:07 am
Martin Luther’s torment over the papal issuance of indulgences motivated his Reformation theses.
Vision attributes pain’s purpose.
April 17, 2008 at 10:30 am
This is not about global warming at all!!
Tiger is all-consumed with being the greatest player of all time, from all sports – from archery to zebra hunting. His Augusta flat-stick flubbery has his mind in such a tailspin that he has wiped out all 32 years of training and is reshaping his game with the skills of the other leading contenders for the title – in the case of putting, with that of Arnie. He has even been seen experimenting (in private) with the approach shot of Charles Barkley.